SELF-CARE FOR KIDS
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Now that school is out, there may be times when children have to stay at home alone and take care of themselves for short periods of time. Sometimes older children may even be responsible for taking care of younger siblings. However, keep in mind that self-care is not for all children.
Some can handle short periods of self-care if they have been carefully prepared for it. If you are considering leaving your child to care for themselves, ask yourself the following questions. Do you live in a safe neighborhood? Has your family practiced fire drills? Do you usually go straight home from work? Is your home secure? Do you communicate well with your child? Is there a neighbor your child can go to if an emergency arises? Can you be reached at work if your child needs to talk to you? Do your children fight a lot?
If you feel that it is safe for your child to be at home alone, next consider your child. The following questions help determine if your child is ready to be left alone. Is your child afraid to stay by himself? Is your child easily bored? How does your child deal with peer pressure? How does your child respond to strangers? Does your child know first aid procedures? Can your child work independently on homework and household chores? Does your child know your neighbors? Does your child get along with brothers and sisters? Does your child know what to do in case of an emergency? Does your child usually make good decisions? Can your child solve simple problems on his or her own? Is your child easily frightened?
If you feel that it is safe and your child can handle staying home alone, plan and discuss house rules and safety precautions with your child. Consistent direction, boundaries and limits will help kids understand the do's and dont's of staying home alone. You may want to develop personal safety precautions like using a password when someone comes to the door, handling phone calls, visiting friends and outdoor safety. You may want to consider house rules with clear limits on having friends over, leaving the yard, chores, using the telephone, leaving messages and snacks. It is important to write down rules and safety plans and keep them posted where your child can easily find them.
One of the most important issues in leaving kids alone is reducing fears, loneliness and boredom. Naturally, children are going to experience fear when they are alone. Talking about scary situations can reduce fears. Encourage your child to talk about his or her feelings. Keep communications open so that you are aware of your child's worries and fears. Children often experience loneliness in self-care situations because they do not know how to use their time wisely. Give your child household responsibilities that make them feel like they are accomplishing tasks. It may be a good idea to make arrangements for your child to spend one day a week at the library or with a friend and make arrangements to pick them up there. Structuring your child's time during self-care will eliminate fears, loneliness and boredom.
It is important to remember that all children cannot handle these responsibilities. Some children can handle short periods of self-care if they are well prepared, but it is unsafe to assume all kids can stay by themselves. You and your child will feel more secure if you have taught them safety precautions, house rules, and how to handle emergency situations when they are home alone. By following these tips, I hope that your family can have a safe and happy summer!
Bill Stone is the 4-H Youth Development Agent for North Carolina Cooperative Extension In Lee County.